Movements

In life you have two choices:

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You either move horizontally— from one thing to another or vertically—from one moment and then deeper into that moment.

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Horizontal movement is like riding a subway line, you go back and forth.

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From Lexington Ave to 5 Ave and then from 5th Ave to Lexington Ave. Like one thought to another thought until you’re done for the day.

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Or, you can go vertically where it’s not about getting from point A to point B or B to C.

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Rather, when you arrive at your stop, you go deeper there.

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Like jumping down a tunnel from Lexington Ave 1 to Lexington Av 2, 3, 4, 5 etc…

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It’s like falling into an abyss with zero sense of time and a noticeable uncomfortableness.

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From 2016-2018, I was running my company linearly.

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I did the things because of some motivation.

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For power, money, or popularity.

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After a few years, it got exhausting and all the fun parts of running a startup slowly disappeared.

Even though we were doubling year-over-year, work began to feel more like an unchecked box.

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It made me think that I was actually happiest when I simply created for the sake of creating, and not as a way to get someplace else.

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It was purely because of delight—not goals.

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So at some point this year I started moving vertically, where I allowed myself go deeper into each moments.

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I let moments of sheer joy guide me to the next one.

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I simply enjoyed my time, in real-time.

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If something good came out of it, great.

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If not, then that’s okay too. I don’t feel guilty because I never intended for any particular outcome to begin with.

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Is it always this way?

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No way. I get tempted and my old pattern immediately kicks in.

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I suspect this will happen probably a millions of times.

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And that’s cool with me too.

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Because it’s not about how many times you missed, but how many times you came back.

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Until one day the subway line disappears entirely, and a new world is reveled.

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